GenShift Transcript: Episode 10—Teenagers

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Welcome back to the GenShift podcast. I'm Dr. Katherine Jeffery, if you're new here, this is a space where we slow down, ask better questions, and learn how generations can work together with more clarity, flexibility, and relationship. Every episode looks at what's shaped a generation, what they need from their leaders, and how we can build workplaces and communities that work for everyone.

Today we're talking with teenagers, our younger Gen Zs, and this is a cohort of Gen Z that's often talked about but not always listened to. They're growing up really fast, forming ideas about the world in real time, and stepping into leadership roles earlier than any generation before them, and they're clear about what they want from the adults in their lives.

Respect, partnership, authenticity, and the power to shape change. We'll start with a snapshot of who they are, what they value, and why their expectations look different from previous generations. Then we'll talk with our two guests about what real partnership looks like, what they wish adults understood, and how organizations can better support their leadership.

So let's get started with a little overview. Teenagers today are currently part of Gen Z, a generation shaped by constant change, rapid technology in a world that feels unpredictable. They've grown up with social media rising, mental health awareness, global crises, and a growing expectation that young people should step into leadership early.

A few themes that have stood out about this cohort emotional openness is the norm. Teens today talk about their mental health, their anxieties, and their internal world, much more openly than older generations ever did. They see transparency as strength, not as a weakness, and what older colleagues might label as oversharing actually feels like authenticity to them.

They expect two-way respect. Teens don't wanna be managed like children. They want to be treated as colleagues, people with ideas worth taking seriously. They want adults to learn from them as much as they learn with them. And listening matters more than advising One of the strongest messages, teens express is simple.

Listen, period. They want adults to slow down, ask questions, and give them space to form their own ideas before solutions are offered. Authenticity builds trust. Teens match the emotional tone that adults set. And when adults show humility, admit limits, and share honestly, teens respond with the same openness.

They also want real power, not symbolic roles. Teens can spot tokenism immediately. They want meaningful involvement, decision making roles, real responsibilities, and shared credit for contributions. These insights tell us something important.

Teens are ready for partnership, not hierarchy. They don't want token stories of youth involvement. They want actual shared work. When adults shift toward a coaching mindset using curiosity, transparency, and accountability, the partnership can become really powerful.

 Dr. Katherine Jeffery: So we have some great guests today.

The first one is someone special to me, Sean. Sean is the teenager of close friends of mine, and over time I've been struck by how thoughtful and reflective he is about the world around him. I invited Sean on the podcast because I think he can offer some great insight into what it feels like to be a teenager today and how adults might better understand and support that experience.

We also have one of Sean's good buddies, Connor, and I'm excited to have them both here. They're both fantastic. So how about we start with each of you just introducing yourselves, tell us what grade you're in, any activities you're involved in, anything you think our audience might feel that is important to know about you.

Sean de Miranda: Thank you for having me on the podcast. I'm Sean, I'm a junior at Richardson High School. I am on the cross country team. I also run track as well. I'm more of a mid-distance runner when it comes to track. I know there's a wide range of events. I don't really have the quick turn of speed that the sprinters use, so I'm comfortable in the 800.

On my spare time. I do like to play ukulele a lot. That's really grown over the past year. Also, yo-yo, that's more of a pastime. I remember picking it up in eighth grade for the first time. There was a brief spell where I was learning like a beast trick after trick.

But now it's more mellow out. Now I am in an architecture program at Richardson High School. I do wanna major in architecture in college. But yeah, I just really like the aspect of design and the creativity that architecture brings. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Yeah. 

Connor Moneta: I'm Connor. Thank you for having me too.

I'm also in track and cross country and also a mid-distance runner. I'm not a good sprinter. In my pastime, I like doing soccer, working on my non-profit and just doing stuff like that. During my school, I'm in manufacturing, which will help me for what I want to do in college, which is engineering.

I think it'll be a very helpful experience. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Excellent. Now Sean, back to you for a second. Yes. How did you first pick up the ukulele? 

Sean de Miranda: Okay. So I picked up the ukulele because when we would travel to Virginia Beach, which is where my mom's side of the family lives there's a beach house and my uncle lives there.

And he always has a single ukulele just like sitting around the house. And I remember just like picking it up every six months to a year when I would see him and I would just play a few notes, like one string here, one chord here. And he would teach me a little bit and then I was like, oh, I really wanna learn this.

And so I remember my sister got me a ukulele for my birthday last spring. Ever since then, I've just been grinding out songs and melodies. So yeah, that's how I like picking it up. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: And you're creating your own songs? 

Sean de Miranda: I'm creating my own melodies, not quite to the full songs yet. I don't think I'm a good songwriter. I haven't even tried writing a song to be fair. But just messing around with different melodies right now on the ukulele. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Yeah. Yeah. And your sister's picked it up too, correct? 

Sean de Miranda: She has, yeah. We've actually swapped, I would say. She was definitely more into it when I wasn't really into it, and then now I'm really into it and she's dropped it. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: That's not every day you hear someone say they play the ukulele Now, Connor, tell us, you said you have a nonprofit. Talk about that for a minute. Yeah 

Connor Moneta: It was the end of last year, and I talked to my friends, I'm like, Hey, we should do this right.

And at the beginning they're like, eh, it's not really great idea. Blah, blah, blah. And last day of school I said, yo we gotta do this. 'cause it'll be fun, it'll be a great experience. It'll be just overall good for us. I had two friends who decided, yo, let's do this. One of them was more into it than the other.

Then slowly we started expanding and, we've got more people now. We've got a good website, bridgethegapforkids.org. It's a really good website. Right now we're working on Dover Project. Which is where we go to Dover and they're all bilingual, so they can't really read English very well.

So that's where we come in. We come in one-on-one. That's what's really good about our nonprofit is that we offer manpower and not just money. 'cause any big business could come in, throw a bunch of money at these kids, it's not gonna do anything for them. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: So how'd you get the idea for this nonprofit?

Connor Moneta: I just did. I was just chilling one day. I'm like nonprofit would be a good idea to do.

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: And then it's called Bridge the Gap for Kids, and it's about teaching kids English.

Connor Moneta: It's mainly about just helping kids bridge the gap between summer, anything, basically. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Oh, okay. Okay. 

Connor Moneta: 'Cause we know, I think it's 30 to 40% of what kids learn during the school year gets lost during the summer months. So we were planning on coming in hosting classes that low income kids could not afford.

I remember I did a chemistry class, which costed like couple hundred bucks and I know some people just can't afford that. Yeah. So we decided to come in, provide that for free pay for all the stuff, snacks, whatever. And yeah, that's what our main goal was, and it just branched out from there, just helping kids in any way we can.

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: And then how do you raise money for your nonprofit? 

Connor Moneta: Basically businesses come in, we ask businesses for help. Grants, we host events. Yeah. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Excellent. And Sean, you have an entrepreneurial spirit as well, right?

You like to start things. 

Sean de Miranda: Yes. Yeah, just a little bit. Shameless plug. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Would you say that's kind of part of your generational mindset? 

Connor Moneta: A little bit. 

Sean de Miranda: Oh, yeah.

I would agree.

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: I think it's great. It shows that you wanna make a difference in the world, right? Yeah. Making the world a better place.

All right. So what is one of your favorite things about being a teen in today's world? 

Connor Moneta: Oh, I guess the access to anything, especially with social media, internet, and with a car we can just text our friends, Hey, let's go do this, and then we go do it.

We have access to a lot more stuff than especially people back in the day did. Yeah. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Yeah. 

Sean de Miranda: I would agree with Connor. Like just everything that you have access to with the lack of responsibilities that you have, like compared to when you're an adult, like you have to manage, you have to pay for the mortgage or the household income or all this, right?

But as a teenager, like so much of that can be provided by your parents. And so you end up with a lot of time on your hands. But you're also learning skills that you'll later use. And so you're like, I want to go out and I wanna use these skills. So like you might end up starting a nonprofit with your friends or finding interest in starting a business or doing all these things.

And so I feel like just agreeing with Connor, like the freedom you have is really what, I really love about a team. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: So there's all these opportunities for you out there.

And all you have to do is step towards 'em and kinda rally people around you with them, with that idea, with that goal in mind. 

Connor Moneta: Yeah. That's the thing about teenagers is if two people agree, people agree, three people are gonna agree and then more and more. It's crowd mentality is really big, especially in teenagers.

Yeah. It's helpful, especially when doing stuff like this, but it's also annoying. It has its benefits and drawbacks. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: What makes it annoying Connor? 

Connor Moneta: Cause people always try to, we'll say fit in, right? Say they always try to fit into one thing, even if it is not fun, don't want to do it, whatever. You're gonna have to go along with it 'cause what else are you gonna do?

And it's, it's annoying. You don't wanna do, it's boring, whatever. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Yep. We used to call that peer pressure back in the day. 

Connor Moneta: Yeah. It's, very different now. Peer pressure, 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: What do you all call it? 

Connor Moneta: Oh, it's still peer pressure. We used still call form. Yeah. 

Sean de Miranda: We do call it peer pressure, but we rarely use the term.

Connor Moneta: It's a lot less now. I would say it is more subconscious than like actually going outta your way.

Sean de Miranda: Yeah. It's some more sneaky. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Talk about that. 

Sean de Miranda: You just gloat the other person instead doing something for you like you just either stem the ego like you're not really gonna go do that. And it gets the other person to do it. Because they're like, oh, like this person doesn't think I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do the exact opposite. I'm gonna go do it. So it's kinda like that. Or if you do have a crowd, you can just be like, why didn't you, why didn't you show up at the party last night, man?

Show up at the one next Friday. Yeah. If enough people say it to that one person, then the guy's okay, I'm gonna show up to that party. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: And you said stem the ego. Just peer 

Sean de Miranda: pressure. yeah. It's a little sneaky, but 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: That's a Gen Z phrase, I think.

So what are some of the things that concern you or cause anxiety for you about being a teen in today's world? 

Connor Moneta: Not a lot, I'm gonna be honest, except school. Nonprofit now. But those two things. There's not a lot to be worried about as a team.

Another good thing about being a team, you kinda go with the flow. Everything's relaxed. You have your responsibilities, but most of the time it's not very strict. You know what I'm saying? 

Sean de Miranda: Yeah. I feel as a teen, it's almost like you get to decide how anxious or how worried or stressed you really want to be.

You have a lot of control over that at this age, because you can go throw yourself in a ton of clubs and make a really busy schedule, but at the same time, you can retract yourself and isolate yourself, and you come home from school and it's just, you have hours on your hand. High school itself isn't super difficult.

Not all the classes are super difficult. Especially as a junior, I feel like a lot of kids have like college on their minds. Okay, like next year start the college apps, and then a year after, okay, now then life really starts to pick up.

Once you hit junior year and you really start to think okay, I'm growing up. But other than that, like you do have a lot of control over about what you wanna worry about, how much you want on your plate. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: And what about like, all the things going on in the world right now? How does that impact both of you?

Or do you think about it very much? Are you eh, this is the way life is?

Sean de Miranda: It's weird because yes, it feels weird to be so close to the jump of okay, I'm 17, I'm about to be 18, and then now I'm, like I'm a legal adult.

I can start voting. I'm part of the world. But at the same time all the matters seems so far, like out of your circle that it's I'm not really sure. That applies to me a whole lot. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: So you feel protected from it all in some ways? 

Sean de Miranda: Yeah. Yeah. 

Connor Moneta: Yeah. There is a lot of people I've seen who are always talking about it, always thinking about it but they have no control over it and they have. It's always on their minds, but they talk about it, but they're not really doing anything with this information that they've gotten. I don't know why they're so obsessed with it, because if you really care that much about it, you wanna try to do something about it.

But in this state we are right now, we really can't do anything. It doesn't really affect us right now. But you know.

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: I know. I gotcha. 

Sean de Miranda: That's another thing. I feel like teenagers do a lot. They'll be like, yeah, you know. Like sometimes I say it to my dad, I'll be explaining something.

I'm like, you know, and he is just like, no, I don't know. And I'm like, oh, okay. I'm not gonna fully explain it either, but if I say it to my friends and I explain something, I'm like, and they're like, yeah. Yeah. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Sometimes parents need a little extra help in today's world.

Now I also wanna ask you all, I think you go to a high school where you phones are not allowed. Oh, no. 

Sean de Miranda: Yeah. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: And that happened, what, was it two years ago? One year ago? 

Sean de Miranda: I think it was. This is our second year. Yeah. Yeah. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Okay. So tell me, so you were already in high school when it happened, so tell me what that shift was like for you and how'd you feel when it first happened, and then how does it feel now that you've been in it for a while?

Connor Moneta: It lowkey has felt the same because it hasn't really affected us too much, especially in the classroom. At least I didn't use my phone too much. I didn't really see the need in using it. Even during lunch right? It's better that we don't have our phones 'cause now we're actually talking to each other. That's plus having a good time. But most of the time we don't really need our phones unless we're like texting, safety, whatever. 

Sean de Miranda: Yeah. I would say okay. I remember freshman year I was at Richardson High School and at lunch everyone was on their phones. So that, that's definitely like the increase in conversation we had now at school is definitely a benefit from putting our phones in the yonder pouches. But besides that, like I don't feel like the classroom itself has shifted a whole lot.

I feel like the yonder pouch system is a whole Okay. The biggest thing that I don't like is the fact that like the district spend so much money on the yonder pouches Yeah. Between all four high schools. They could put that money to better use than the return they're getting now.

Yeah. Nobody uses it. Yeah. 

Connor Moneta: One of our classrooms, everyone has it open. Yeah. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: So talk to us about, so you walk into school, you're supposed to put your phone in this pouch that locks or talk about how it works. 

Sean de Miranda: Okay. So you walk into school and there's an open d yonder pouch that you, it's a personal one, so you can take it home. 

Connor Moneta: Oh, okay. Bring it to 

Sean de Miranda: school and you put your phone inside and there's a little pin that seals shut and it's held with the same magnetic power that like if you go to the store and you buy a piece of clothing and they take off the tag 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: or like 

Sean de Miranda: that little plastic tag on it, it's just like that.

That's how it works. And so it locks it so you can't get it out. And then how it's supposed to work is you go through school and it's locked, and then at the end of the day they set out the magnets and then you just tap it and it unlocks and then you get your phone out. It's not supposed to work.

How it really works at the high school is you have the consistency of trap phones. Or burner phones that are stuck in there. You have people, you can, if you put enough brute strength into the pouch, it'll open too. So that's a combination. And then there's another option that, like majority of the athletes, they have practices in the morning where they don't go through that phone screening process.

And so majority of the athletes usually have their phones available throughout the day. So yeah, I 

Connor Moneta: You can walk through one of the doors and at that point people know which doors the teachers don't care or whatever. Yeah. But you could walk through some doors, like maybe say, oh, I'm gonna go to the locker room and then walk past.

Or you could be like, oh, I'm searching for, and walk past. Yeah. Because there's just so many students walking at a one time, usually 'cause of buses or whatever. And it's just a really bad system. I would say there's probably no good way of doing this. Yeah. Without there being some rule breakers or whatever.

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Always true. When you're dealing with teenagers and adults for that matter, right? 

Connor Moneta: Yeah. Yeah. We would never do that. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: So there's maybe more monitoring or awareness of not using your phone, and so at least at lunch you've felt and experienced more engagement. 

Sean de Miranda: Yes.

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: So even though maybe the system itself isn't a huge success, it has allowed you to interact more with your peers. And you both said that was a positive thing. Yeah. Awesome. Okay. So I'm gonna shift the focus a little bit. Okay. Because we often discuss leadership on this podcast. So I wanna focus a little bit on what it looks like to build relationships with teens in today's world.

So when you're working with an adult or an adult is, coming alongside of you, what helps you feel respected as a peer rather than feeling like you're being treated like a kid? 

Sean de Miranda: I would say acknowledgement of my skill. Yes, that's definitely a big part, but it's also the mutual trust that the person I'm working with, if they're older than me they'll give me a task.

Like for example my architecture teacher, Ms. Ballone, I've had her freshman, sophomore, junior year, and she's been a really good teacher. So junior year really took off for architecture and we started landing a lot of actual projects rather than just practice. So one of the projects we had to do was we had to present to the mayor of Richardson.

We presented seven different conceptual design plans to different areas that would focus on cultivating a better community and environment and just improving the space of our city. I remember walking in one day beforehand. Just in general, have a really good relationship with her. And I talked to her and she's Hey, we're doing this mayor presentation.

I want you to be the mc for the presentation. I was like, oh hold on. Wait I'm supposed to be the mc for this. I remember asking a lot of questions. I was like, okay what's the presentation? Who's really gonna be there? He was like, oh, like these, 13 people, like the mayor, some chief executives, some CTE executives, the superintendent. All these high up people. I embraced that assignment a lot because at the same time, like she trusted me to do it and she gave me that task. I ended up working really well with her to the point where she was like, okay, on the day of the presentation, she wasn't gonna stay apart like she was gonna be there and watch us, but the introduction was gonna be by me.

The closing remarks were also by me, the little bits between the presentations, that was all me. And so she stepped back and it was a very student led presentation with all these elder people in the community. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: And how did that feel? 

Sean de Miranda: It felt really good. I also remember critiquing a lot of the seven presentations.

So I would spend for two weeks, I wasn't actually designing anything. I remember I'd come home and my dad would be like, what'd you do in architecture? I was like, oh, I was just listening to presentations. I wasn't designing. But I would just sit there, I would listen and then I would give constructive criticism and feedback stuff to the point where it made me feel really good because at first it was a little weird, but Ms. Ballone saw that I fit the role perfectly. And in the moment after like the first few days, I was like, oh yeah I really like this, it's not like she's teaching, it's more like I'm the teacher, but like she put me there. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Yeah. She empowered you to speak into even what your peers were doing. 

Connor Moneta: Yeah. I would say it is not just a trust, but also a respect and an understanding. I get how they're not gonna fully respect us because obviously we're younger. I get that, but a little bit of respect will go a long way. And especially with that understanding that we would mutually have, which would be ideal, that, that's I feel like the best way to do it.

And understanding is very important, especially like when communicating with a person of authority. 

Sean de Miranda: That's a good point, buddy. 

Connor Moneta: But yeah, if I'm ever doing something with my dad, sometimes communication gets lost in translation because he'll say something, his slang, and I'll say something and it just doesn't work out.

When we're doing a project, it makes things more confusing and it's more important to have a communication and be able to understand each other because all the other things come much easier. That's true. Yeah. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: That's so true, Connor.

I'm so curious. What are some of the slang terms that your dad uses? 

Connor Moneta: Mainly it's mocking me, right? Yes. He's that's chill, bro. So cool. But yeah it'll mock me. He'll sometimes try to do his own thing, like that's sick.

Old language, but I think it's pretty funny. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Now, I did just read yesterday that six seven has officially died. Is this true? 

Sean de Miranda: Where was that? It's not, it's still very active. Oh, yeah. It's 

Connor Moneta: not as massive. 

Sean de Miranda: Yeah. That's in North Carolina. I don't think it's made its way to Texas. Yeah.

Connor Moneta: The problem with it it's in numbers. It is everywhere.

Sean de Miranda: It is a number and it is everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. 

Connor Moneta: What time's dinner tonight? Like about six or seven o'clock, and it's just right there. It's just, it's hard. You can't avoid it. Yeah. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: That makes 

Connor Moneta: So annoying.

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: What this article was saying was, because it's being so used, like now even Google, if you put six, seven in the search bar, it actually goes like this. And so Gen Z's that's pretty funny. Yeah, it's really funny. So Gen Z's okay, we're done with six, seven. It's what it was saying, but it sounds like. 

Connor Moneta: Everyone caught on is not good anymore.

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Yeah. You have to change your viral memes like pretty quickly because the rest of us catch up much more quickly than we used to. 

Connor Moneta: That's the thing about the internet too, is so many memes just pop out. And it's just a lot of access to having all this stuff. I would say back then, that's why some of the stuff, like you say, sick that's sick. As in a good thing. That's still we'll say, not really around, but it's still here. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Yeah. 

Connor Moneta: But because it wasn't overused because it was only with the teenagers. Yes. 

Sean de Miranda: I would say the internet too, just in general as a teen is really influential because like Connor said, like that's definitely where a lot of teenagers get so much information. Whether it be true or false, right?

That's the whole thing. That's part of the struggle. It's like our brains are still developing and we keep getting all of these thoughts and ideas and what this person says and that person says, and this and that, and it just comes together. And so like, it's hard as a teen to process everything.

Okay. This is what's happening. Where do I stand in all of this? 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: So where do you go to process that? 

Sean de Miranda: Sometimes it's not actually always like our parents, because sometimes our parents they won't have the same understanding all the time. It'll take a lot more explaining, let's say.

To explain the whole picture to your mom or dad versus if you just go with the boys and the boys have seen very similar things and you can just be like, Hey, like what do you think of this to a very trusted friend of yours? And they'll be like, oh, I think that's stupid. You know what I mean?

Or and then if you have a good, solid community of people around you that have a positive influence on it, then yeah, that can definitely be beneficial. But there's a flip side to the coin, and you can definitely be in the wrong crowd who tell you the wrong things. So yeah. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Do y'all have an example of something?

Sean de Miranda: Oh, okay. Off the top of head, we can talk about quarter zips.

That did go through my friend group. Like I was like, it's starting to become more popular and we're like, oh, do you think the style is cool? Do you think it's not cool? Do you think we should wear it with a collar under the shirt or not? Should we have like really bright colors, really muted tones instead, dah.

I remember some of my friends would be like, oh, yeah, that's cool, but I personally wouldn't be able to pull off a quarter zip, or just it gets nitty and gritty. So then it's, sometimes it can just straight be just unhelpful and you're just like, oh, okay.

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: So what was the consensus? What'd you guys come up with? 

Sean de Miranda: The consensus I had was that quarter zips are cool, but we didn't wanna bandwagon the whole thing. We didn't just wanna follow what everyone else was doing, even if we thought it was cool. So we just stayed away from quarter zips.

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: So no quarter zips for Christmas. 

Sean de Miranda: No, no quarter zips. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Now, Connor, do you agree with that? 

Connor Moneta: Yeah. I would say it's a good style. It works out. I'm actually tomorrow I think, I'm about to do a photo shoot to put all the stuff on my website, nonprofit stuff.

You're gonna wear a quarter zip, don't wear a quarter zip. Yep. It's gonna, yeah, it's not like trying too much, it works out.

But yeah, I would say in my friend group, I would say probably politics. I know it's a sore topic for some people. Yeah. But mainly in my friend group, the main one, we're all really similar in our views and stuff, but at the outside we had a couple more people who are completely just fighting on that and completely opposed.

They're very different from our views, which is, it's fine, 'cause that's what politics is. Yeah. Everyone has their views. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: So do you all find yourselves as teenagers able to talk through those differences or does it really tend to segregate you and your friend groups?

Connor Moneta: So it depends. Not, it doesn't really, that's a thing you'll hear a lot with teens. Yeah. It depends. So it I guess it depends on how bad it gets. Most of the time, like the other day I was just chilling. We were about to go up to the Moss Haven and play some wall ball, but then two of my friends they just started arguing about politics and I don't even know where it came from. And then obviously, we got in our cars, we drove there and then it was fine. It was completely fine. I think that's a little bit of a guy thing where we just forgive each other pretty fast.

Yeah. Guys do that for sure. But still they're not gonna agree on it, but it's not really gonna affect their relationship at all. They're just gonna, be like, oh, here's what I think, here's what I think. Here's some studies, whatever. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Yeah. And then you get over it.

Connor Moneta: And then we get over it quickly.

Yeah. It's usually a stalemate. That's the problem. It's nobody's, we're teenagers. We're kinda, we're hardheaded. It's, nobody's ever gonna convince the other person. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes that doesn't change even as you get older.

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Dr. Katherine Jeffery: So let me ask you all this too. I'm just curious talk about AI for a minute and how you feel. That's impacting the present and then as you think about your future, your career, where your life's gonna go. What's going through your heads right now? 

Connor Moneta: So I would say it ruins learning.

Yeah. But in the real world, we're able to use this stuff. 

Sean de Miranda: Yeah. 

Connor Moneta: We're able to use the internet, we're able to use tips and tricks. We're able to use all this stuff. I get what they're doing. They're trying to have us learn all this stuff. So it's in our head and we don't have to use that stuff.

But when we're in the real world, we can all use this important stuff. That would be super helpful. That'll make production so much easier. And make our lives 10 times easier. 

Sean de Miranda: I would say for AI yeah, it definitely hurts the school system that's currently here. I feel like AI is definitely something that you can't just ignore because it's growing so rapidly and it's becoming so important in so many aspects of life that you can use it for.

And yeah, I agree. It does, it just helps, like it makes things easier. Whether that be like scheduling, creating things coming up with ideas. I would say that like in the school system we have now, it's definitely becoming a struggle, especially as you get older into the high school years in college, because you're basically in the real world almost.

And it's the real world does use ai, so I should be using it too to help me. But I would also argue that there should be like baseline level of learning that kids should have before becoming dependent on AI. Personally, like at our high school, we just got out of school yesterday, so we're on break now.

But I know a lot of people who the semester finals were very cheated. Very cheated because of AI. And yes. Like it's a really easy way to get a good grade, but in some classes it's gonna come back and bite you eventually. Especially if you want to pursue a career that uses that thing.

Whether that be like a STEM thing. That's very interesting. Yeah. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: And how do you see it impacting your ability to think and learn? 

Connor Moneta: It takes away the thinking. If it's a writing, you just, hey, write me a 500 pages I essay, or whatever. And then boom. Yeah, there it is. It takes away the thinking and the learning. You might still learn it, but if you're gonna do homework, that's where you learn. You actually use the skills you learned in class to learn. And actually solve the problems. 'cause when you actually do the problems, instead of just straight up AIing them, you actually go through the process.

It sticks in your brain and AI takes out both of those things and just throws it away. Yeah. 

Sean de Miranda: Because I think the thing about AI is that like it's programmed to give you the right answer, but you only learn by getting the wrong ones. And you have to get enough wrong ones before you know the right one.

But if you just skip the wrong ones, go straight to the perfect answer. You're, you're not gonna remember the right answer. It's not gonna attain because the failures you experience will ultimately lead up to learning. That's what makes you learn.

Connor Moneta: I will say. It can help though. Yes. 

Because if you say, if you take a picture of your study guide and say, create me problems to do help me understand this, it will do that. There's a good side to AI too, that in school it's not just a bad thing. There's very helpful and good things it can do, but it's two sides of the same coin.

Sean de Miranda: Yeah. If that's the thing. I think it's also interesting to think about like if I don't know the answer to a big problem, I'm not gonna spend a whole lot of time and energy trying to solve it. I'm just gonna turn to someone else and get that person to do it for me.

So like in the school system, that thinking isn't very much apply because it's basically cheating. If you like. translated into the school system today, but in the real world are resource. Yeah. You just use your resources and you make the most of it too 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: yeah. So are you two glad that you've been through as much school as you have, right?

You're both on your way out of high school. Are you glad you got that far before AI really has taken such a front and center role in many of our lives? 

Connor Moneta: I think the main peak of it was in my freshman year, I think. Would you say that?

Sean de Miranda: I would say so because like I feel like it's used a lot. It's just growing. Yeah, it's growing. 

Connor Moneta: All I know is that obviously we didn't really need it in middle school, but once we got to high school and things ramped up and AI was on the come up, it grew with us, we'll say. 

Sean de Miranda: Teenagers can actually vary a lot. 'cause a 13-year-old is a lot different than 18, 19-year-old. Yeah, that's, I feel like that's a pretty big age gap. But where we are is juniors 16 and 17.

I feel like it's a really good spot because I look down at all the kids younger than us and I'm like, they're gonna grow up and they're gonna be so focused on AI that I think it's gonna hurt their learning a lot. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: But then I 

Sean de Miranda: also look at all the people older than us in college and it's young adults and I'm like, I feel like they're missing out because if they had AI when we do they could be so much more successful.

So it's like I feel like I'm just right in the sweet spot of it all. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: And what do you mean by they could have been so much more successful? Like how are you defining success in that sentence? 

Connor Moneta: Like study guides. Like I was talking about how AI can create study guides, problems, anything like that.

It could have helped them in so many different ways. Told 'em a good study method that works for them. AI is also a little personalized, so you can be like, from all the stuff you've learned from me, what do you think is the best way for me to study? And that might, that little thing might've helped them get a better grade or something like that.

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Yeah.

All right. Okay. So what does it look like when an adult truly listens to you?

Connor Moneta: Understanding okay. I would say that it is an understanding. They understand what I'm trying to say. ' They can listen but without fully knowing what I'm saying, paying attention. But when you have that understanding of what I'm saying and what I mean by what I'm saying, it adds a whole new depth to it, to actually listening.

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: So how do I show you that? I'm understanding, like how do you know that I'm actually understanding? 

Connor Moneta: Just contributing to the conversation. Being present and making sure I know that you are being present and understanding what I'm saying.

That's when it's the best. I would say. 

Sean de Miranda: Good. I would argue that like as important as listening and understanding are to a teenager, I would argue that being nonjudgmental might be more valuable. Because a lot of teenagers would be willing to open up and explain everything, but they don't wanna live in the fear or state of mind where they think their parent or guardian or whoever older with authority they're talking to is gonna judge them and deem what they've just told them is wrong.

If that makes sense. 

As a teenager, I feel like if my mom or dad truly understands without judgment, they're not gonna see what I did is like wrong, if that makes sense. I might have like faults to it, but ultimately they're gonna be like, oh, yeah, I see exactly what Sean did and I can see why he did that.

And I don't think he was entirely wrong in his action. Does that make sense? 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Yeah. But here's my question for you. So if I'm your parents and I maybe don't agree with everything you just did, how should I then listen without you feeling judged and how can I let you know I might have done that a little differently? Because I wanna help you, right? I want you to be successful. And I might think that some of your behaviors weren't quite in line with maybe the best decisions that could have been made. 

Sean de Miranda: Yeah. I would say it's almost one thing parents could really easily do is they could lower themselves to their teens level.

And for example hey. One thing that parents have is they have a lot more experience. They've lived a lot more than teens, so they can tell us, Hey, this is a time I did something really stupid with my best friend. This is how it ended up for me.

Make it almost a joke. Make the parent put themselves in a bad lighting, because then it makes you seem more personable with the teenager. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: So you're relating to you on like just a human level. Hey, I know you messed up. This wasn't the best thing you've ever done, but I've messed up too. 

Sean de Miranda: Yeah. It's I don't wanna be looking up at you and just hearing everything I'm doing wrong all the time. Tell me what you did wrong too one time, or very similarly, and then as teens we'll listen and we'll understand and we'll hear, and we'll draw from that experience, be like, yeah I see what happened to you. I see how it relates to my life. I see where it could go. So I'm gonna steer clear of that. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: I've heard Genzer say a lot, like we wanna learn from your past mistakes.

Sean de Miranda: Yes.

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Like, why should I make the same mistakes you did when you've already made them? So tell me what you did that went wrong, so that I don't step in that same space. 

Sean de Miranda: I also wanna say like surrounding yourself as a teenager with a lot of other people, because going back to like the school system in AI, you learn by failure and you learn by the mistakes you made.

You can only really make one mistake at a time and you learn from it one step after another. But if you have a community, whether that be with friends, parents, other people, you can be like, okay, tell me your experiences. And then in my mind it's okay, now we're all failing together as a group.

And technically if I have a group of four other guys, then I'm learning experiences. Four times as fast because I'm hearing all the mistakes you make and we're all accelerating faster. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Now. You did say earlier, Sean, that the best way to learn is from mistakes. 

Sean de Miranda: Yes. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: That's not just your own mistakes, that's other people's mistakes too.

Yes. 

Sean de Miranda: Yeah. Learn from everyone's mistakes. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Yep. 

Sean de Miranda: Yeah. 

Connor Moneta: Don't go to that nuclear power plant over there. There's radiation, stuff like that. We'd like people to tell us that. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Don't touch that hot stove. Kind of thing. Yeah, exactly. 

Connor Moneta: My dad told me this story when I was much younger, he is let me recount the story.

He went to the stove, right? He was about to touch it and his mom was like, no, don't touch it. It's very hot. And he moved him away. Then he came back and actually touched the stove and burned himself. And he is yeah, don't touch the stove. It's hot. I've tried it, don't worry. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Not worth it. Trust me.

Yeah. 

Connor Moneta: Instead of just telling me, don't do it like his mom did, he still touched the stove, but now I learned that Oh, he suffered pain. Yeah, he suffered pain. He did the same thing I did, I was about to do. You still gotta learn a little bit. That's why you'd put my hand a little bit above the stove just to feel the heat, right?

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Yeah, to give you a little bit of a taste. So when either of you need advice, how do you hope that an adult would offer that to you? 

Connor Moneta: AI, no. Joking. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: And is that where you go first? You go to AI first if you wanna. 

Connor Moneta: No. If it's advice, no, straight to my parents or friends 'cause okay.

They actually have the experiences that AI can never have.

Sean de Miranda: As a teenager we're told a lot of things very often. Told this is how you have to do it. They're almost like they're forcing the advice and teaching down or throat sometimes. So as a teenager, sometimes I receive the advice from my parents is, especially as I'm getting older, they'll tell me about their experience.

But they won't phrase it with how, and what I should do. They'll leave that open-ended because they'll know that okay, Sean's growing up, he's almost 18. I'm gonna tell him this and he'll figure it out after I've told him. And if he takes the experience I've learned and takes the advice, even if I didn't explicitly say it to him, then he's learned it.

But if he doesn't, then like I might make the mistake and then I'll learn on myself, yeah. 

Connor Moneta: I would say less criticism and more just actual communication. 'cause if you just criticize what I'm doing, it's not gonna help me in any way. It's just gonna make me more mad.

Make sure they know you're not criticizing them, you might be angry, but not criticizing and not labeling it as a problem, but a mistake they need to fix. I know sometimes people are like, mistakes are bad, mistakes are scary, whatever. But like you said, mistakes make you stronger.

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Yeah.

Connor Moneta: That's also gotta be communicated too. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Yeah. So they still have your back. They still care about you. And then Sean, it sounds like what you're adding to that is give me more rope as I get older. Yeah. Allow me to think on my own feet, but I also want you to still help guide me.

Sean de Miranda: Yeah. With the giving more rope, it's like growing up as a teen. In the preteen years in six through 12 the rate in which your parents give you more rope is very linear. It's very like consistent. And then as soon as you hit teen years, it's like quadratic goes whoop.

And like the parents sometimes aren't really ready for it too. And that's what like can pull on a kid sometimes and the kid's Hey, I really wanna start doing X, Y, and Z. And the parent's oh, I really don't know if I want to let you do that. But it's like in reality, like it's been linear and the parent is just consistent with that.

And so now like the kid wants a whole lot more rope and you're like, wait a moment. I'm not really used to this, 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Yeah. So you have to figure out that tension, right? Because you might even want your parents to pull back the rope sometimes. 

Sean de Miranda: Yeah. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

So what kind of questions help you think more clearly or feel more understood? What are the questions adults can ask you to help you think through where you're headed more clearly and to say they're actually listening to me? 

Sean de Miranda: What made you think of this or what made you feel like you had to do this?

So if I'm explaining how me and my friends decided to leave seventh period of school early and then like I come home and I tell my parents about it and they're like, okay.

So what made you wanna leave school early and it's oh, it's because we weren't doing anything in the class and I'd already finished my work and I was all caught up. I didn't wanna be like on YouTube or on my phone the whole time.

So I'm gonna go out and do something fun and then my parents were like, yeah, that's valid, and I'm like, yeah, that's why we skipped.

And that way at the same time, they were engaged in the conversation, but I was explaining myself and they understood.

So they didn't. Think that going skipping school was like a reckless move. You know what I mean? 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: You had actually thought through it and to Connor's earlier point, they weren't criticizing you, they were asking you open-ended questions, like trying to understand what was behind you, making the decisions that you did.

Connor Moneta: Yeah. I would say just straight up communication. Kind of what he's talking about. It's just as long as they're a part of the conversation, going through it, just supporting and giving pointers. I think that's when it's the best. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: What kind of guidance or coaching from adults is actually helpful to you? 

Connor Moneta: It depends.

Sometimes none at all. Because if you're on your own path, right? That's where you say, oh, I wanna try this thing. Oh, that's not good, let's go the other way. And when you have that lack of structure, that's when you learn the best. Especially when you're trying to do something new.

But also you do want some because in other situations when you have completely no idea and they do, they know what they're talking about, then that's when it's good, but then too much. So also, it's a spectrum. You sometimes it's good, sometimes bad.

Sean de Miranda: I would say that a really good source of support for teens can always be found in their coaches so our track coach or our cross country coach, or whether that be like the band's coach or the manager of the theater production or all of that. Those people, those adults are always really supportive of the kids. They just know the kids better because they also see the consistent effort that they put in on a more day-to-day basis. And so they can see the effort and they can see the trajectory of where the kid is gonna end up in a new endeavor. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: And then how do you prefer to receive that feedback or support? I've heard differing things from Gen Zs in terms of they like it to be personal, like not in front of the large group.

Connor Moneta: I would say it depends on the situation and I obviously the person, 'cause sometimes you want loud support, right? To get everyone so they know there is support, but if it's something bad happened, you want private support and a lot of it too.

Sean de Miranda: Yeah. I feel like from coaches, if you have a good coach, there's a level of respect that you have with that person, and so sometimes the coach can tell you something just straight up and blunt and it isn't taken the same way as if my mom or dad said it.

Connor Moneta: It's definitely different when it's your parents.

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: So your parents should tell your coaches to tell you things, is what you're saying? 

Sean de Miranda: Sometimes I wonder if that's happened before or if I was a parent, would I do that? Not even a bad idea. It's not a bad idea. Yeah. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Alright. And then just 'cause I just wanna learn from you two. What slang or phrases do you use with your friends that adults would never understand?

Connor Moneta: Gas. Gas. The food is, gas is good, basically. Okay. Yeah. Bad's another one. But bad means good in this case. Yeah. Bad means good in this case. 

Sean de Miranda: Which is really, which just, yeah. Very counterintuitive. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: So use it in a sentence. 

Sean de Miranda: It just happens. Yeah. It just happens naturally in conversation. Yeah. 

Connor Moneta: Tough is cool. That was tough. That was tough. Tough it was a new one though.

Sean de Miranda: I could say that was a tough move that basketball player did. Yeah. That was cool. I respect that. Yeah. That's a cool move.

You wanna go do something? Yeah. Bet, yeah. That just means yes. Bet just means, yeah. Yeah.

It just happens. Like it does just happen. 

Connor Moneta: On a whim, it is difficult, but if you're talking to another teenager, it's just gonna happen. Put the fries in the bag. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: And what does that one mean? Tell us what that one mean? 

Sean de Miranda: Put the fries in the bag.

Just means get a job? Yeah. Yeah. Do something with your life. What are you doing right now? You're doing nothing. If I had a friend and I'd known he's playing video games for a week straight over break, I just just put the fries in the bag like, whatcha doing? 

Connor Moneta: Or I would say, you stop being a bum.

Yeah. Stop being a bum. That's another one. And basically bum, you just know how to use it. Yeah. I don't really know the definition. You just know how to use it. Yeah. What else is there? I don't know. We'll probably think of more later, we definitely think. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: All right so when adults then try to use this teen slang, how does it come across to you?

Is it funny? Cringe? It's hilarious. 

Connor Moneta: Yeah, like I said earlier, I think I've had my dad just try to say slang. Obviously he's joking, but it is super funny. He is yo, bro, how are you doing, man? And it's just I think it's pretty funny. My mom used 6, 7 1 time. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: She did?

Connor Moneta: Yeah. I think I've met my parents do the same thing too.

Sean de Miranda: Yeah. It's so funny. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: So if there are adults listening to this episode that want to understand teen communication better, where should they start? 

Sean de Miranda: That's a really good question. Chat GPT? No, 

Connor Moneta: Not GPT. Not probably just straight to the source. Obviously, but it's hard to, when the teen won't communicate that.

Sean de Miranda: Do something that lowers yourself to your teenager's level. Hey, let's spend some time together. Whenever my dad's like, Hey, do you wanna go eat? Yeah. Guys, we're hungry. We're always up for a meal. So I'm like, yeah, let's go eat.

 Just take time out of your day, hang out with your teen, maybe get to learn. You don't have to have a super deep, insightful conversation.

Sean de Miranda: Like, how was your school day? Oh, it was good. But that's probably as far as you're gonna get in the moment at least. Maybe try to get a sense on what your kid has been up to. 

Connor Moneta: I would say, especially in high school, there would be times where I just have not seen my sister in couple days.

'Cause we both got activities we were doing or whatever. So I would wake up super early, go drive my friends to school run, and then I would go to school, come home. Do whatever I'm gonna do and then eat, go to sleep, and then I just don't see her. Yeah. Like you said how was your day?

How are you doing? Whatever. But just as a high school student, you still got a lot to do, even if it's not as important. You still got stuff to do homework and it ruins the chance for more intimacy.

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: So it sounds like quality time is of high value to both of you.

Sean de Miranda: Quality time over quantity of time. For sure. 

Connor Moneta: Oh, yeah, sure. I works in any situation, friends, family. Yeah. 

Sean de Miranda: Plus, I don't know if like my parents are like, Sean, I wanna spend a full day with you. I'm gonna be like I don't know about that. I wanna do other things. Not the full day mom.

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: So what does it look like then? 

Connor Moneta: Just like little events, right? Yeah. Because me and my family have this tradition where every year we go out I don't know where we go out, but we go out somewhere during the Christmas time and we cut our own tree down.

We bring that tree, we put it in our house. It smells great, right? It's just like little moments like that matter a bunch because it's tradition. It importance. 

Sean de Miranda: Yeah. I would say if there's also any teens that'll listen to this is, it doesn't always have to be the parent that has to make the effort.

Like your mom's going grocery shopping. Hey, mom, I'll go with you. A very simple thing, but you're like, oh, like you're 16, Sean. I don't remember the last time. I've gone grocery shopping with you since you were like eight. Or something like that.

Granted, we do drive. So now it's more like my mom's Hey Sean, gimme a few more apples, the store please. And I'm like, okay. And I go by myself now.

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Yeah, she's been waiting for that day. 

Connor Moneta: Yeah. That's what my parents say. Yeah. Right when I was 15 or ever since I remember they're like, once you have a car, you're gonna be our errand person.

Yeah, sister places getting groceries, whatever food.

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Connor, it sounds like you have a younger sister as well. 

Connor Moneta: I do, yeah. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: All right. As older brothers, how do you kinda look out for your little sister?

What does that relationship look like? Connor, you mentioned like you, sometimes you go days without seeing your sister. 

Connor Moneta: Yeah, I am still gonna bully her. But yeah, I still love her. She's my sister. I'm a protector any way I can. Obviously joking.

Sean de Miranda: Yeah. 

Connor Moneta: Like she's still, yeah, she's still family. Still gotta do what I can to protect her. 

Sean de Miranda: The type of relationship I feel like it's very similar to what Connor said. Mine's a little different 'cause I'm in high school with my sister, so that's a little weird at times.

Not all the time, but it's yeah and my sister's Hey, can I have a bite of your food? I'm like, no. That's my food, but then if all of a sudden she's Hey, like there's an accident, I need you to come pick me up. I'm like, alright, like I'm gonna come pick you. Like I'll go do.

All these significant things for her, but it's like she wants to bite my food. No, she's not gonna get it. Exactly. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Too much. Too much. 

Connor Moneta: Too much. Too much. That's my food. You can't have that. Yeah. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: So to wrap us up, if you all have one hope for the future, what would it be?

Connor Moneta: I would say just overall communication. I know I've talked about that a lot, but communication is one of the most important things to how actually people connect. That's how you make experiences. That's how you get closer. So I think communication is super key and also our just progression as a species, as a human race.

As long as we communicate actually without full aggression and not trying to, eat the other person's head off or whatever that's when things will actually start being more peaceful, just go in a better direction, I would say. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Yeah. 

Sean de Miranda: I would say one hope for the generation would be to

find the right people to turn to. There's a lot of wrong people out there that you can turn to find the right ones that not only can you confide in. But they'll actually listen to you, whether that be friends, family, peers coaches, but also not only are they gonna listen to you, but they're gonna support you no matter what, because that makes learning and failing and growing easier.

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Yeah. So surrounding yourself with a solid community who has your back. Yeah. Yeah.

Is there anything else either of you would like to say that you just really haven't felt like you've had the opportunity to yet? 

Connor Moneta: Yeah. You guys should donate to bridge the gap for kids.

Help us out a lot and help make sure we can do more stuff and help all the kids that need it. 

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: That's right. And make the world a better place. 

Connor Moneta: Yeah. Make the world a better shameless plug.

Dr. Katherine Jeffery: Shameless plugs are always welcome, Connor.

Sean de Miranda: Alright. Thank you for having us. Yeah. Thank you so much for letting us do this with you. 

You guys were awesome. I appreciate you taking time. I want everybody to know this is a Saturday morning, these two got up and did the podcast, so never say the Gen Z is lazy. 'Cause that's not true.

As we close this conversation, a few themes become clear. Teens want collaboration, not control. They want adults who listen with curiosity, not speed, and they want respect and agency. They also want authenticity. Adults who show up honestly admit what they don't know or how they failed, and they create space for shared learning.

Everything they're asking for aligns with the GenShift framework. Clarity, flexibility, and relationship. Clarity shows up in how we communicate with teens through transparent decisions, open explanations and shared expectations. Flexibility shows up when adults adjust their leadership style by coaching and not commanding and relationship grows when adults listen First, stay curious and build trust through humility.

So before we end, here are a few reflection questions for our listen. The first one is, how often do you listen to teens without jumping in with solutions? The second one is, are you sharing real decision making power or only symbolic involvement? The third one to ask yourself is what assumptions about young people might you need to release?

 And finally, what could your organization gain from genuine team partnership? Thank you for joining us today. If you want to learn more about cross-generational leadership, check out other episodes of the GenShift podcast and share this one with someone who works closely with young people.

Sean de Miranda: See you next time. Thank you, Sean and Connor. This was lit. 

Connor Moneta: That was good. That was good one. That was good.